Terroir

Who needs a glass of Riesling? The Shepherds in the field need a big glass of Riesling. Why? BECAUSE, while one angel initially informed them of the birth of the Son of God, a multitude of angels then appeared to add gusto to the announcementand let’s be honest, one angel appearing is freaky enough but when a metric tonne of angels (God, of course, is all about the metric system as it possesses divine symmetry) appear, it would be like the Bee Gees, standing over you while y...ou are napping, singing Nights on Broadway to you and you aloneyour psyche and soul would just explode. BECAUSE, being a shepherd is roughly the equivalent of being an employee of a grocery store / a food delivery company / a trash haulerone doesn’t get any respect until the world is turned on its proverbial arse and we now can’t get our lamb for our Easter dinner. #ShepherdsDeserveAHigherMinimumWage BECAUSE, they were now entrusted with spreading the news of Jesus’s birth to the world at large. We do not know exactly why God did not first inform the New York Post or the religious leaders in the Temple or Tucker Carlson or a King of this news. Rather, He chose the seemingly simplest of people and, therefore, redrafted the Peter Parker Principle to read: with little to no power comes great responsibility. Lordy, to those shepherds in the field, we raise a salmanazar of Riesling. See more

On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me An Alex Morgan Tottenham Hotspur jersey she is the first world class player the team has signed in a generation. On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me An info session with Jake from State Farmapparently, Jake from State Farm ... is an oracle and I need lots of help navigating the next 6-8 months. On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me Three copies of Aldo Sohm’s wine book, Wine Simple there is no better teacher than Austria’s very own Aldo I-really-want-to-be-Maria-von-Trapp Sohm. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me Four packages of Philz Coffee Ether blend. On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me Five rolls of Charmin toilet paper. On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me 48 hours of unfettered free time to watch all six seasons of Schitt’s Creekwe all need more Moira / Johnny / David / Alexis Rose in our lives. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me an ever so rare AND ever so yummy Naked Chicken Chalupa from Taco Bell On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me A bucket filled with red AND blue pillsI have no clue if I desire the unpleasant truth or blissful ignorance but at least I will have many options. On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me Nine days of conversations with Cornel West damn, I need the master blaster of cadence and the English language to inspire me with new thoughts. On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me The first draft pick in the 2021 NFL draftcan Trevor Lawrence please come to NYC and the NY Jets. On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me Eleven packs of Twizzlers licorice-type candy just ripping open that plastic wrapper allows the greatest aroma in the cosmos to emanate forth it is a combo of Wonder Woman’s sweat, mixed with DRC’s Romanée-Conti 1985, with a dollop of Garden of Eden je ne sais quoiit brings me to my knees. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me Twelve kisses from my two sonsin them I see a reflection of all that is great about humanity. See more

Who needs a glass of wine? The Virgin Mary needs a glass of wine. Why? BECAUSE finding out you are pregnant with the Son of God via the Angel Gabriel... is rather intimidating, at least compared to other versions of E.P.T.s. BECAUSE a virginal conception*yep, that’s right, where is the fun in that?! BECAUSE your boyfriend, a poor carpenter named Joseph, initially rejected you and then only reconsidered after realizing you might be stoned to deathand, in addition, let’s just agree that a little voice in his head might have told him that it would be advantageous to stay the course. BECAUSE being pregnant is hard enough but being pregnant as a 12-year-old is positively harrowing, especially when your new husband is 90 years of age and forgot to pack the overnight bag for the delivery room no music / no movies / no magazines / no new clothes / no nothing. BECAUSE you lacked health insurance and the best that anyone could offer for a birthplace was a meager manger, in the poor city of Bethlehem. Because God said so. *a little note of Catholic Doctrine: the Immaculate Conception refers to Mary’s birth and NOT the birth of Yahweh, her son. While conceived in the biblical sense, Mary had to be born without original sin so that she could then give birth to the Son of God. Lordy, if childhood wasn’t stressful enough, Mary had to grow up without the labes. As pure as the driven snow she was (though she had no clue what snow was). Mary / / / , we raise our glass to you! See more

Who Needs a Glass of Riesling? Addison Mitchell McConnell Jr.*, the Kentucky Senior Senator, needs a glass of Riesling. Why? Because there are over 500,000 independent restaurants in America, employing over 11,000,000 Americans (we are the country’s largest private sector employer), that desperately need your assistance.... Because a right thing to do to help curb the pandemic is to close most in-person dining / drinking in restaurants / bars / cafes across this country for the near term (and dare we say it, this is more for the safety of our teams). To do that, we need your help. Because you did achieve greatness earlier this year, in the passing of the Paycheck Protection Program. It was not perfect, but it was a lifeline for many, for a virus that we thought we would control by the summer. Then summer came and passed. Followed by autumn. Now we are approaching winter and, while control of the virus is within our sightlines, many of us will not survive without further help from our government. Because that help exists in a bill already sitting on your desk in the Senate chamber: the Real Economic Support That Acknowledges Unique Restaurant Assistance Needed to Survive (RESTAURANTS) Act. The House has already passed it. Mitch, all we need is you. #Mitch,don’tbetheDarkSide #Mitch,weknowyoureallytrulywanttobetheLightSide NOTE: yes, that is Mitch portrayed in the Ambrogio Lorenzetti fresco, The Allegory of Good and Bad Government. The panels hang in the Sala dei Nove, in Siena’s Palazzo Pubblico; their presence was to remind the officials how vital their decision-making was AND the effects of those decisionspeople’s lives were / are at stake always.

Day 16 Advent 2020