Zahavah Fishfeld, LMHC

There are things you may not want to deal with. These "things" can be overwhelming, upsetting or triggering. They are things you will try to avoid at any cost. They are things you dread having to think about. ... They aren't going anywhere. Even if you wish they were not a part of you. However, they are part of you. You can choose the how and the when to process. You can choose when to begin the healing process. Or, the process will make that choice.

Were you able to identify why you have difficulty expressing yourself? There can be so many reasons why. Whatever the reason, knowing you're around others but can't communicate in a way you would like to can't feel to good. Which can you relate to? And I'm sorry your in this place. Just because it took years to get to this place, doesn't mean it will take years to change!

You don't need to share your feelings with everyone. There are people who are curious and those who care. Either one is not a reason to share. Sharing feelings is so you're not alone AND feel supported. Share when you feel safe. Share when it's because you want to. It's okay to feel anything. It's also good practice to process and work it through.

Can you start feeling connected? Do you do it because you feel to have to or just don't know another way? Watch the video to see more. Please send me any questions or comments.

A common theme during sessions is someone being told change will happen. The actual steps for the change itself never happens or not at a pace my patient feels comfortable with. It's okay to set a boundary with someone in regards to the change. Sometimes, you setting that boundary, makes it clearer to both of you.... The lack of change can go on forever. Setting that boundary of time, gives the other person the option to really consider what you are saying. They will understand you may make a choice if this change doesn't happen. When you're on the recipient end of the boundary regarding time for the change being set, it will feel like a tremendous pressure. You have to weigh the outcome and see what's best for you. You may not always have all the information you need. You may not have had time to process your feelings. By not making a decision, someone else may be making it for you. Do you know how to handle those moments where you're not sure if you're letting a good opportunity slip away? A common theme during sessions is someone being told change will happen. The actual steps for the change itself never happens or not at a pace my patient feels comfortable with. It's okay to set a boundary with someone in regards to the change. Sometimes, you setting that boundary, makes it clearer to both of you. The lack of change can go on forever. Setting that boundary of time, gives the other person the option to really consider what you are saying. They will understand you may make a choice if this change doesn't happen. When you're on the recipient end of the boundary regarding time for the change being set, it will feel like a tremendous pressure. You have to weigh the outcome and see what's best for you. You may not always have all the information you need. You may not have had time to process your feelings. By not making a decision, someone else may be making it for you. Do you know how to handle those moments where you're not sure if you're letting a good opportunity slip away? #change #success #mindset #growth #goals #boundaries #commitment #pressure #feelings #therapist #thoughts #newyork

She struggled with relationships. She struggled with how to identify as a person. She struggled with regulating her emotions. ... She struggled with approaching differences of opinion in a healthy way. She struggled with asserting herself; both alone and with others. Overall, she struggled. This client has been through much trauma. Her upbringing was far less than perfect. She had to learn to survive in the only ways she knew. This created a person who struggled for many years. She didn't leave therapy thinking she was perfect. She left therapy knowing she has many tools she didn't have before. She knows she addressed feelings and situations throughout her time in therapy. She can continue utilizing what she learned. What was your experience in therapy? Comment below or message me.

Just because you believe something doesn't make it true. I'd like to help you feel better if you're feeling down. Please allow me to help you get to that "better place."

It's easier to become upset than to calm down. What can you do to keep your emotions in your control a little bit more?

What's your opinion of my New Year's resolution video?

It's easier to sit back then get up and do the work. It's easier to find excuses, rationalizations and blame. Bottom line is your life, your choice.

Ask ten therapists and ten patients what therapy means to them and you will get twenty different answers! How does that bring you clarity? Sometimes the process of finding the right therapist is hard for this reason exactly. You have to go through trial and error to find the right match. And that's only if you don't give up before you are successful. They say finding a good therapist is like being set up with the right person. Matchmakers have a tough job because everyone is not for everyone. Same thing with therapy. It's got to be the right match.

You can't do it! You can do it! Which one do you think will help you achieve your goal more?

Are you a follower? A follower of what people say you should be doing? Do you think your entitled to your own feelings and opinions? Food for thought; those telling you what to think and feel are following their own thoughts and feelings.

How do you manage your anxiety? Especially today! There are nerves everywhere. Let's focus on you and keeping your anxiety down within your control.

What's wrong with feeling good about yourself? Absolutely nothing!!! If you think you did something to be proud of, don't let anything or anyone stop you. Don't rationalize that "it wasn't a big deal" or "other people do this too" or "its something I'm supposed to be doing anyway." What you should do is smile and give yourself a pat on the back.

If you thought children missed a beat, let me tell you they don't. They will follow you both physically and also with EVERYTHING you show them. They still see the things you don't intend to show them. They see the behaviors that that you're not proud of yourself. They seehow you treat others. They see how you treat yourself. They pick up on how you value yourself. And they most definitely will be effected in a positive or negative way. What do you like that you'd like to continue and what would you like to work on?

Part 2 (summarized) How do you really not care what people think when you're in public? The thing is that people always have opinions. The question really is do you care about their opinions within reason of course!

Part 1 What do you think would happen if you felt no judgement going places alone? Is your answer to would you go places alone never! Would you change that if you could?

Do people really reach goals? That depends who. It depends how honest they can be with themselves. It depends if they're a fighter. It depends how motivated they are to reach their goals even when they don't feel like it. It depends what's pushing them for change.

If you hate to exercise, it is one of those things that only feel good afterwards. So why motivate or force yourself? Because you will feel happier, lighter, more active amongst other things. It will vary a bit for each person. So here's a tip. Don't start with a half hour a few times a week! Try up to five minutes a day, a few times a week until you stop desping it so much. Work with yourself in a way that will work for you.

If you think you're the only one who has a hard time expressing yourself, you're not! It happens more than you think but the same way you're not making it public information, neither are others.

Do you love the beach? This is one way for me make sure I don't forget self care. I get to go to a place I love and find relaxing and get to see some of the people most important in my life having a great time. I definitely felt separated from my usual busy life with calmness surrounding me. Self care is so important! What do you do, especially during Corona?

Do you have that feeling where you feel you may never really connect to anyone? The one where you wonder if someone will like you for who you are, including yourself. Do others just like you for superficial reasons? Are you longing for a long term genuine relationship? Do you have any idea why it's not happening? Let's find out why. I'll need your help though because I'm not around you to see what interactions may not be helpful to you. Let's make that change! I want you to think you can be happy.

Are you a "keeping tabs" kind of person? You must be exhausting lots of energy. Do you feel others keep tabs on you? If you do do this, how's it working out for you and why do you feel you need to be this way?

Why should I like you? Ask yourself that!

Wondering how to stop others from arguing with you? Don't respond. When you're younger you're told to ignore or tell an adult. As you get older, this turns into the adult version. Ignore and tell someone to vent.